It’s a stepsiblings battle of the sexes. Tony (Ricky Spanish) comes into the living room where sis Laura (Melody Marks) is sitting on the couch reading a book. She objects to him bothering her, but he assertively sits down right next to her. “You’re just jealous of my alpha male energy”, he claims. “You’re fucking delusional. You know that?”, Laura says.
“I’m an ideal male specimen”, Tony boasts. “In what, software engineering?”, she asks. “Yeah, those guys make a lot of money”. “You know, you could have all the money in the world and still be a total loser”, she states. “You’re just jealous you can’t bag a billionaire nerd”, Tony retorts.
“Well, I believe in love, thank you very much”, Laura says. “No one believes in love”, he asserts. “I do”. “I’m calling you out”, he threatens. “You barely know me”, she maintains. “We’re siblings, aren’t we?”. “Step-siblings, and our parents got married, what, last year”, she counters. “I see the way you spend hours looking at your nails -don’t tell me you care about love”, Tony maintains.
She closes her book and declares: “Ah, you’re a misogynist!”. “I’m a feminist. I believe men and women should have equal rights. And it’s girls like you that give women a bad name”, he claims. “Where’d you learn that, your MRA forms?”, she snaps back, referring to marijuana. “And if I did, does that make it wrong?”, he chides.
“You’re just mad that hot girls aren’t into you”, Laura scoffs. “And it wouldn’t be someone like you, anyways?”, he says. “Like me?”. “Gold digger”, he calls her. “I am not a gold digger”. “Sure you are”. “How?” “All women are”. “Wow, so you’re a nerd AND dumb as fuck”, she concludes.
“I’m smart”, Tony maintains. “You don’t even understand women”. “Sure I do. Women love abs and money”, he says. “What is this, 1988?”, she jokes. “Well I’ve read…”, Tony says but she interrupts: “Let me stop you there. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with someone who isn’t your mom”, she insults. “I get a lot of girls”, he claims. Laura laughs and says: “Okay, tell me about the last girl you fucked”.
He’s silent, and she begins again: “Okay, maybe that was too personal. Tell me about the last girl you kissed”. “Her name was Allison”, Tony says. “Okay, tell me about Allison”. “She had red hair and soft boobs”, he blurts out. “Sounds nice”. “She was nice”. “Where’d you meet her?”, Laura asks. He struggles to answer, saying “Coffee shop?”.
“Are you going to meet her again?”, she queries. “She moved…to another state”, he says. Laura makes a face and says: “Right”. “I was going to break up with her anyways”, he says. “Did you do more, you know, than kiss?”, she asks. “You’re asking if we did it -and yeah, we did it”. “Cool, I knew that you weren’t a virgin”, she concludes, and picks up her book to start reading again.
“Look, I’m not like you -I don’t just hook up with people”, Tony says angrily. “Watch your fucking mouth, I’m your sister. Don’t talk to me like that!”, she retorts. He corrects her: “Stepsister, and I didn’t want your mom to marry my dad”. “Do you think I wanted you to be my brother?”, she retorts. “Look Anthony…”, Laura says, but he interrupts: “Call me Tony”. “Tony, we’re going to be living together for a little while longer, so how about if we learn to get along somehow, some way, okay?”, Laura says. Tony exhales heavily and agrees: “You’re right”. She says: “Could you stop being such a brat?”. “Fine”. “Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?”, she asks. “I don’t hate you Laura”. “You sure act like you do. Is it too much to ask if we try to get along better?”. He replies: “It’s just girls like you aren’t normally, I mean, into me”. “That sounds like a You problem”, she responds.
“I have a lot of wonderful qualities”, Tony says. “You don’t actually show them off then, do you?”. “What do you mean?”. “You’re kind of a bully”, Laura declares. “I’m not”, he maintains. “I was literally in here, reading my book when you came in here just to start an argument with me”, she says. “You were in my spot!”, Tony insists. “I didn’t know that it was your spot! You know what, take your spot -this conversation is over”, Laura declares, and gets up from the couch with her book to leave. He shrugs and follows her from the living room.
Laura turns in the corridor to confront him: “What’s your fucking problem?”. “I don’t want you to be mad”, he says. “Too late”. “What did I do?”, he asks her. “Are you serious?”. “Yes”, he replies. “You called me a whore”, Laura declares. “No, I didn’t!”. “You implied it. You basically said I have sex with men for money. You belittled me and then you basically pushed me off the couch”, she claims.
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing”, he says. “No I’m not. Anthony look…” -he interrupts again: “Tony”. “Tony, maybe you should try to act a little more normal, and then girls would start to like you more”. Laura walks off to her bedroom and Tony pursues her.
“What are you, my shadow or something?”, she complains. “I don’t like the idea you’re mad at me”, he says. “Well, I am”. “I didn’t do anything wrong”. “Of course not, that’s the problem”, she says, pulling clothing out of a dresser drawer. “I don’t get you”, he wonders. She turns to face him and says: “You really don’t get it, do you?”. She sits down on the bed next to him and continues: “Look, you’re not a bad looking guy. You’re just a jerk. You built up this insane fantasy in your head that all women are gold diggers, and that’s why you can’t get a girlfriend. No, listen, you don’t have many friends, do you? And I don’t want to hear about those losers you pose with online. They don’t count”.
“I have friends”, Tony insists. “Not that I’ve seen”. “You’re right, I don’t have any friends”, he admits dejectedly. He goes on: “I am a jerk. I push people away. I’m not a virgin but I basically am”. “I’m sorry, you’re not a bad guy Tony”, she says. “You’re just saying that”. She puts her head on his shoulder for a moment and says: “No, don’t let this go to your head, but I always thought you were pretty cute”, Laura admits.
“You do?”. “Yeah, but then you opened your mouth”, she jokes. “So sorry”, Tony says, looking down toward the floor. “I know you don’t mean it”, she says. “You’re so pretty, it’s so easy for you”, he says. “Not really, you’re just so wrapped up in your own ego that you can’t see anyone else having it as bad” -she puts her head on Tony’s shoulder. Laura continues” “You know most guys don’t even try to get to know me, so it hurts my feelings when you say stuff like that -because it’s kind of offensive, it’s like you’re not even trying to see me”, Laura opines.
“I see you”. “You do?”. Tony nods Yes and kisses her. “That was nice”, she says shyly, looking away. “Did I do something wrong?”, he asks. “No, it’s just, it isn’t right”, she says. “I like you Laura.” “I know, I can tell”. Tony hugs her and she asks: “What are you doing? Let go of me”, she implores. “I need it so bad”, he whispers. “Need what?”, she asks. “I need you”, Tony responds.
“Say what you want, use your words”, she implores. “I want to fuck you”, he says, looking into Laura’s eyes. “You do?”, she asks. “I know I’m not worthy”, he admits. “You’re not”, she jokes. Laura murmurs: “I know, I know” and Tony kisses her repeatedly.