Bad Roommate

Stepbrother (Chad Alva) accidentally bumps into his stepsister (Lily Larimar) as he carries a box into the living room. “Sorry”, he says. “I still don’t understand why you can’t just live at home”, she announces. “Well, dad said…”, he begins, but she interrupts: “My dad, your stepdad”. “Oh, whatever. He said if I got straight A’s he’d get me a place, so…”. She interrupts again: “But this is already my apartment”. “Well I guess he didn’t feel like paying for two”, stepbrother responds. “He’s so cheap”, she remarks. “Maybe if you got better grades…”, he suggests. “You’re not going to be a little narc, are you? Crying to mommy and daddy about what I’m doing”, she says sarcastically. “Now why would I do that?”, he wonders. ” ’cause you’re a goody two-shoes, I mean, how long have our parents known each other, like a year?”, she says. “Well, more like two”, he replies. “Whatever. How do you think it feels that my own father prefers his new fucking son?”, she says ruefully, sitting down at the end of the couch away from him. “That’s not true. He loves you”, he insists. “He always wanted a son. He was legit in denial at first, wanted to call me Louis, and he even tried to convince my mom that it was a good girl’s name”, she claims. “Well, I definitely didn’t know about that”, he responds. “How would you? He hasn’t shown you his true colors, yet”, she asserts. “Yeah, I guess he mostly just acts like a really nice guy to me”, stepbrother concedes. “He makes promises he can’t keep, like I never agreed to share this apartment”, she notes. “Well, listen. I understand you don’t want me here, but we’re both in a situation where we can’t really afford our own places. We don’t have a choice, so I’ll just stay out of your way”, he offers. “Just clean up after yourself. I’ve lived with guys before -you guys are disgusting”, she states. “Not me -I’m neat. I promise”, he contends. “I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m going to take a shower”, she storms out of the room. Later, she is in the bedroom clad only in a towel, when he goes into the shared bathroom, closing the door behind him. He finds a pair of her pink panties on the sink and picks them up. She knocks on the door and yells “Hey, I’m not done! Better not be shitting”. He opens the door as she says: “Can’t you tell I’m not finished?”. “I’m sorry”, he says meekly. “You’re the worst! I’m going out -I’m already late”, she declares, slamming the door behind her. Chad puts his phone down on the bedroom end table and takes her panties out of his pocket. Seated on the bed he sniffs them and begins to masturbate. Stepsister opens the door and catches him in the act, then covers her eyes and yells “Oh my God!”. “Why didn’t you knock?”, he asks lamely. “Those are my panties, you fucking pervert!”, she exclaims, as she grabs them from his hand. “I’m telling everyone about this”, she declares. “Don’t”, he replies. “What’s daddy gonna say now?”, she mocks him, and rushes away, slamming the door. He lies back on the bed wearily, and his cell phone rings. Looking at it, he yells “Fuck!” repeatedly. “God damn it!”, he exclaims and leaves the room carrying his phone. Stepsister is sitting on the living room couch looking at her phone, when he comes in and walks past her. “I’m guessing you saw my little message”, she needles him. “Yeah, I did”. “So what do you think?”, she asks. “I think you shouldn’t have posted it”, he declares. “And why not?”, she asks. “Because it’s private, and it’s something everybody does”, he says. “Not everyone jerks off to his stepsister’s panties”, she says. “That’s not even what was happening”, he claims. “From the moment I met you I knew you were into me, and now I have the proof -you’re a little perv”, she scolds. “I am not!”, he replies. She holds up her phone and declares: “People in the comments disagree”. “You’re a fucking bitch, you know that?”, he yells. “At least I’m not a degenerate, jerking off to his fucking stepsister”, she retorts. “You’re seriously going to regret this”, he threatens. “Oh am I?”. “Yeah! Everyone’s going to know the truth about you”, he claims. “And what’s that?”, she asks. “That you’re a heartless witch, and you couldn’t get a boyfriend if you begged”, he exclaims. “You’re projecting now”, she says. “What about Sam Jones then?”, he asks. “That loser? I barely remember him”, she contends. “Well if I remember correctly, you got punked and dumped, ’cause he saw right through your bullshit”, stepbrother declares. “At least I can get laid”, she asserts. “Well it’s not very hard when you’re a girl and you’re easy”, he responds. “How dare you talk to me like that!”, she exclaims. “How dare you humiliate me on the internet”, he counters. “It’s not a big deal. I was joking around”, she contends. “It is a big deal actually. Why do you hate me so much?”, he asks. “I don’t hate you”, she says. “Well you certainly act like it”, he replies. “It’s embarrassing, but I guess I’m jealous”, she confesses. “Jealous?”. “I mean even my own father likes you better. What if my friends prefer you too? Then I’ll be left with nothing”, she despairs. “Are you being serious?”, he asks. “God, don’t make it worse than it already is”, she says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it”, he apologizes. “It’s fine. It’s not a big deal. I’ll delete it”, she says, picking up her phone to remove the posting. Stepbrother sits down across from her. “It’s done. I told everyone I was hacked”, she announces. “Thank you”, he says. “I shouldn’t have posted that. I know that”, she admits. “You know if you were just a little bit nicer to everyone you’d probably be everyone’s dream girl”, he says. She shakes her head and exclaims: “Shut up!”. “I’m serious -you’re totally like that girl every guy has a crush on”, he declares. “That’s bullshit. It’s like you said -I can’t have a boyfriend to save my life”, she claims. “Don’t be mad”, he says. “Don’t be mad?”, she asks incredulously. “About what I’m about to tell you”, he explains. “I can’t make any promises”, she replies. “Well, if we’re being real, the truth is you’re just a little scary”, he claims. “Me?”, she asks. “Yeah. I’ve been only living with you for three hours and you’re already posting terrible things about me on the internet”, he says. “That’s different”, she maintains. “Is it?”, he wonders. “You’re right, I get it”, she concedes. “See, I know you’re really deep under the surface”, he asserts. “I didn’t mean to be a bitch”, she says. “I know that”, he agrees. “I don’t get you. Why are you so nice to me?”, she asks. ” ’cause I like you”, he responds. “You like me?”, she wonders. “Yeah, it’s a little surprising to me too, but you’re funny, you’re bold, and you’re really nice when you want to be nice”, he says, putting his hand on her knee. “That’s sweet”, she says. “I mean it”, he insists. “You’re not so bad either”, she replies. “I’m not?”, he asks. “No, I see why my dad likes you so much. You’re a real man”, she asserts. He laughs and says “What?”, striking a pose to show off his muscular biceps. “No one’s ever said that to me before”, he claims. “Okay, you still have some growing to do”, she smiles. “Well, I’m almost 25, baby”, he points out. “You’re a late bloomer”, she responds. “Thanks, I think”, he says with a smile. “I mean you’re not all small”, she says. “What do you mean?”, he asks quizzically. “Please, don’t make me say it”, she reacts. “I really don’t understand what you mean. What do you mean?”, he reiterates. “Look down there”, she says suggestively. He smiles and points: “Down here?”. “Oh God! I can’t believe I said that”, she says. “Oh wow. I guess I kinda wished that’s what you posted on line. I would have been a lot less upset”, he jokes. “You’re killing me. I want to die”, she dramatizes. He takes her hand and says: “I think you love it”. “This is honestly the most fun I’ve had in a while”, she declares, and they lean forward and kiss. She breaks away and insists: “This can’t happen”. She gets up and starts pacing. He says: “It’s not that big of a deal”. “Like fuck it is!”, she exclaims. “Don’t think about it so much. We’re just two young people”, he contends. “We’re fucking stepsiblings. Or have you forgotten?”, she asks. “I thought we were having a moment here”, he says. “Even if we were, we shouldn’t”, she insists. “Who’s gonna know?”, he asks. “I’ll know”, she declares. “Look, you’re really making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be”, he maintains. “Easy for you to say, you fucking loser!”, she yells. “I don’t care how fucking damaged you are -you can’t keep talking to me like this”, he says. “You can’t talk to me like that”, she retorts. “What’s next -you’re going to post some embarrassing shit about me again?”, he says. “Please stop”, she says. “Why should I stop?”, he wonders. “I don’t like the way you’re talking to me”, she says. He gets up and says: “Well, what do you want then?”. “I want you”, she declares. He moves closer and points to his ear, asking “What was that?”. “I want you! Are you happy now”, she exclaims. He leans over and kisses her again. 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