I walk into the kitchen to tell his step-mom that I’m meeting with my colleague at work. I smell tobacco in the air, it’s scent is thick and brings back memories of his stepmom years ago. I bluntly ask her, “Are you smoking again?”
Cherie’s spine stiffens, “No.. of course not,” she forced a smile.
“You’re lying. I can see it all over your face.”
Cherie bows her head, it’s something cute my stepmom does whenever she knows she’s been caught. She should know she can’t hide from me, she’s too transparent to keep a secret, let alone lie about the thick cloud of smoke in the air. Cherie exhales, “ok.. so I just had one.. two cigarettes, that’s all.”
“I can’t believe it, you haven’t had a cigarette in years.” “Oh I know, baby. It’s terrible. I swear I’ll quit it. Do me a favor and do not tell your father.”
I nod. Does she know I hate it when she brings up “my father,” I’d rather not think about my father at all when I’m with her. I don’t know why.. maybe it’s because I don’t think he deserves a woman like her.
Cherie, “I was really looking forward to you coming home, for months I was counting down the days. I want to spend time with you. I miss you, you were always my friend, and I really need a friend, baby.”
I smile, “Aww I missed you too. I guess I’ve been a little mixed up lately,” I rub the tension from my forehead. Cherie looks at me in warm empathetic way, “Lizzie really screwed you up?”
“No, it’s not all that. I guess I’ve been avoiding you on purpose.”
Cherie looks confused.
“I came home and saw you sunning yourself, it kind of through me for a loop. I didn’t see your face, just your body, and I thought you were some other woman”
Cherie smiles and looks at me curious. Is she encouraging me? What am I even doing. It’s like my mouth is moving without my brain’s permission.
“I’ve never seen you do that.. sun yourself outside, in a bikini.” I grow erect just thinking about it. I shift my weight on one leg trying to hide my bulge.
Cherie lifts her head proudly, “I’ve been working out since you last saw me.. I feel a little more confident to wear a bikini now.”
“That’s great, well you look… amazing.”
“but you’re avoiding me because I look.. amazing?”
She’s noticed I’ve been avoiding her? “oh man.. I’ve said too much. Let’s just say that I saw you as a woman for the first time instead of just my stepmom.” What did I say? My God.. I am such an idiot.
Cherie looks him in the eye and leans forward a bit, “I know exactly what you mean,” her voice drips with sexuality, low, smooth, sultry. It’s hard to describe unless you hear her whisper, it’s both beautiful and tragic,hardened with years of heartbreak, love, and experience.
I keep my eyes locked on her’s eager for her to speak to me again, please in that tone, please ask me to kiss her.
“I came in yesterday to offer you soup and I saw you on your bed.” I know I was masturbating.. I stammer, “uh… you did?” Cherie nods, “you look great too.. amazing.”
I laugh awkwardly, not quite understanding what she’s talking about. She gets close to me, so close I can feel her warmth. I freeze, but still she moves closer. I just keep my eyes locked on hers. She moves her hands underneath my hair, I close my eyes, yes.. that feeling of her stiletto nails massaging my scalp gives me goosebumps, and feelings that no man can describe. I feel lips on mine. I open my eyes and recoil. “Oh!” She looks horrified, “I’m sorry.. I’m very sorry.. what was I thinking?”
Her hands shake as she reaches for her cigarettes hidden in a drawer. I get up and take them away from her. “It’s ok. don’t smoke, please.. it’s really alright.”
“Well we can forget this happened,” she tells me, her eyes are filled with tears. I want to comfort her. I want to kiss her. I learn in close, I put my hand over her shaking hand. I feel her soft pillowy lips against mine. I taste her. I want her. I need to make love to her. I don’t care if it’s wrong.
